I can’t seem to fall asleep for the following reasons:
A.) I’m pissed that I got an 8% tip from a disgruntled guest who’s anger and action upon anger is not justified whatsoever. He wanted a $47 bottle of wine which I discovered we were out of and found a similar bottle for $53. Rather than tell him the price out right I told him that it was still within the range of his last bottle. I still hold true to that statement. He obliged and I poured… he enjoyed. Then the bill came after his, what I thought to be, enjoyable experience. Apparently all joy sank when he discovered his bottle was six dollars more than his originally conceived but not attainable bottle. After signing his check and giving me an 8% tip he took the time to describe why he tipped me so low by circling the bottle of wine on the itemized receipt with a note that said “this is not the same price range”. Seems to me he has no joy and is simply an ass with too much money to spend and a bullying attitude towards the help.
B.) I’m pissed that this scenario is playing in my head over and over which is causing me to stay awake.
C.) I’m pissed that I’m still awake and have to work an early brunch shift followed by a dinner shift then only to wake up and work a brunch shift again.
D.) I get even more pissed that I seem to only define myself as a server as of late.
E.) I am also pissed and somewhat shocked that I seem to have misplaced my confidence somewhere. I used to have much more of it. If found please return to the corner of 180th and Fort Washington Ave.
F.) I keep thinking about the fact that I’m turning 34 in two weeks. Yes… It’s just a number but it sounds a lot larger than 33. I’m a year older than Jesus lived… you know… the Lord and Savior.
G.) I keep hearing the fact that Mercury is in retrograde and that’s why things seem out of sorts… Wtf kind of excuse is that for fucked up shit? Suck it up! This is just life! Don’t blame that poor planet moving backwards on how your life is going. Am I right?! Suck it up! I serve bullshit upper west side people! You can suck it!
H.) I somehow watched all seven episodes of “Big Little Lies” on HBO and already miss that story. It was so twisted. What next?
I.) I cannot get a callback for a single commercial for the life of me. I danced in both normal and slow motion in a fucking pizza costume yesterday and didn’t even get a callback… I killed it… in a pizza costume. No callback… again.
That’s all I have. Mayhaps slumber can be more than an imaginative thought now. Goodnight.